Now I know why my kids want to hold my hand, and why they like to sneak into my bed at night and sleep with their heads on my arm. I look up to you and respect your integrity. I'm sorry that everything you tried to do, tried to give us, from Black Fridays to Christmases, and Birthdays to Graduations, made you sick. I love the outdoors because you loved it and showed us your feelings and about the beauty of it all. I swaddled her in yoga blankets at night and placed her in restorative poses to help her sleep. This includes fequently linking to your site at the end your comments.
I'm being a tough teacher right now. I forgive you, and I hope that you can forgive me. And Family lunches on Every Sunday. Regardless of this, I will make sure that I visit you everyday in the hospice. I hope one day I can show you how important you are to me. I will never love a man who does not treat me with respect and kindness, tenderly, his one and only.
So many images are coming back. The first letter is probably not the best time to vent lots of resentment, anger or frustration toward your biological father. Everyone tells me it's okay, that 'God Has A Plan For You And Your Father' but the only plan I wanted that involved you was you walking me down the aisle and being able to share my child's first memory, especially since I will be able to have children when I choose to, now. You were there with me, in some way. He may not be a perfect father, but he is my father and no one can replace that fact. Note that there is a comma after the name. I want to be a good enough dad for my darling daughter who will someday come into this world.
By forgiving you I am trusting God to be the great equalizer and avenger. Every time-out that I spent rocking myself back and forth in my room to pass the time just makes me appreciate you more now. The coins that we excavated today—we're talking about coins. Thank you for giving me advice when I've needed to negotiate a deal, sign a lease, or take a leap of faith. It has provided me with a sense of security that has propelled me in creating a fulfilling foundation for my own life.
Consider very carefully what you would like to say in the letter. Thank you for everything, Daddy. When it comes down to it, you know how much your approval means to me. You might have received my progress report by post from the school. I had a full head of hair and you just fell in love with me, your little girl. Dipping so low at times, I was not sure I could ever crawl back up. Thank you for showing me exactly the kind of man who I deserve to marry, and feels lucky to marry me.
And how could I have known I was carrying a buffet full of undealt with emotions if I never took the time to acknowledged their existence? I want to thank him for everything he has done for me and for the whole family. Without a doubt, my all-time favorite card is the one he made for my 50th birthday. God has not put a period at this juncture in your life, but a comma. Once, for example, the young Franz whimpered continually for a drink of water after he'd been put to bed. Most of all thank you Dad for being you. I know you are now a part of everything and I feel your love surround me with every breath I take.
Is that how you feel, too? That was even when people said I was your favorite because I was your only daughter at that time among your four children, as my youngest sister would still come many, many years after. I am learning, too, that all fights are not good fights. The swing set is still there behind the house, 30 years later. It is the letters through which we can share all our feelings. Thank you for being honest. The memories of my Dad will forever live on.
I broke your heart when I got married very young. You wept so hard, it broke my heart as well. I learned it from you. As a matter of fact, I've just returned from you now. Jot down the points you want to cover in your letter. But in this special letter, Dad, you'll find, at least in part, the feelings that the passing years have left in my heart. This does not make it easier, in fact I must say it makes it even harder.
But of course, it wouldn't be a letter by Franz Kafka if the charges it brought were not directed as much against himself as against his terrifying father. I have hated him long enough, that I thought I can never be peace with him. Some things are better left untold; some things we do not have an answer to. The highlights of my childhood were all those times that you carved out of your busy schedule just to be with us. With every math question I had and essay you proofread, you also got the job as my personal tutor.